tonight, the sky is underneath us

1.10.09

sometimes, I dislike my teacher and think of switching to the blunt, Eastern-European one. Other times i like him so much i think i'll spend the next ten years in this town. 
tonight i was sitting in orchestra during a tacit and thought to myself, "classical music is the most BORING thing ever!!". I didn't even correct terminology, for we were playing Dvorak. and besides. he is not particularly boring, but that moment was screaming for Luis 
on bad days I think I have a right to miserablities. not smiling. looking at my feet. what is a bad idea is to disacknowledge them. it would actually make me happier if i just accepted these things as part of life and not feel guilt every time i am not "there for someone else".
at the same time i like to rejoice when others rejoice and mourn when they mourn. there is all sorts of reasons to be self-sacrificing, but sometimes it is not in my ability.
i think instead of saying "i have no time" i will say "God, please make my time". i will put God first in all things, and the rest will follow. 

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