And that's just it: do they realize the cost of forsaking belief?
I almost wish I could say I were intimately acquainted with it, so I could be more repulsed at the mention of it.
Why don't they believe in demons?
Why do they want to think WE don't believe in demons?
At a place like this, where people are eating and drinking stale thoughts and stale ideas, Satan has a field day. And in a place like this, where people are eating and drinking new thoughts- to them- and maybe drawing closer to the ever-real God, Satan can lose a foothold.
No: I haven't argued my faith in class.
No: I haven't shared that I am a follower of Christ, with the vast majority of people I've met.
I've been generally perfect; not swearing, not being selfish, washing my roommates dishes, not judging my roommates for their lifestyle, not judging in general and being incredibly open, by all appearances.
Is this healthy for your cause, My Christ? Is this what you had in mind, that we wouldn't stand against the tide of culture, but meekly fit in, like a like a pushpin in a sea of thumbtacks?
I am not content with this. My soul is virulent at the concept, but at the practice, I let it slide. I should watch carefully or I could let my faith slide as well.
If one day it isn't so easy to be a disciple of the Beloved Son, it's going to be a lot harder to act. When we do act, then the others will know. God, I don't know how to act. I pray. I pray.
6 comments:
thanks, dear. reading this post has been really helpful, especially compared with most of the stuff I spend my time on the internet reading. This woke me up and spurred me on towards doing good.
I pray for you also, love.
--J
ahh. haha. thanks.
i tried doing good this morning and my feet got cold. literally. it's hard to do a bible study on a september morning in the park, sans shoes.
next installment: how to find a balance between doing good and being a monk's arse.
ha. my year in a nutshell post.
it's weird, because my faith was dormant before this - i feel like it was there for my benefit, for my growth, for my relationship with God.. but it had nothing to do with the world. in theory, i was all for Christ as Lord of creation. but when it came to actually stepping outside of the cozy Christian circle, my faith suddenly looked frighteningly static. but... it's funny how overwhelming it was at first. now, it is just as overwhelming, but i don't feel like i am hanging onto "being righteous." i share my faith without shame - but i do it carefully, as though i am shy (only because they suspect christians of evil purposes, so i must be careful not to come across as full of evangelistic intent, haha). i don't shove it down people's throats, but at the same time, when i disagree, i say so.
i am by no means perfect. but that's what i LOVE about going to school. i don't need to be a perfect Christian... because Jesus is the only one who can transform a heart. i used to feel like i was repeating a cliche when i said this, but i no longer do. the hope that i have, the comfort, is not the same thin cracker faith it was. instead, after having been shaken up every which way in my belief (and it still happens), Jesus seems to be here still.
love you! we must talk more.
p.s. why are you trying so hard ot be good? don't try so hard to be nice (even though i do go into Nice Christian mentality almost every day). be the sarcastic you that you are, because if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for your roommates and professors. why do you think your faith is going to slip? surely it doesn't all hinge on your ability to hang onto an idea! you are inextricably entwined in the Vine.
p.p.s. i have been thinking about demons lately. another topic we should discuss! i didn't really understand if you were addressing this, but i find the reformed tradition doesn't talk about demons enough....
the only pastor i have ever heard address the issue as though it were a real one was iranian. north american and european christians suck at facing reality sometimes. and as you said, i DO think Satan has a field day cuz we act like he doesn't exist... no, i don't think. i KNOW.
I pray, I pray too, my love.
As often as we have heard it, I think it is the answer.
I can't wait to talk to you for real. :)
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